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  1. #1
    Member DirtyZ's Avatar
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    Best Song Ever Made


  2. #2
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    Second Best Song Ever Made?


  3. #3
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    King Kongs Balls

    A rich man asked 3 prospective inheritors of a Million Dollars to retrieve the most number of Golf Balls for him! After a few weeks..the first guy comes back with 500 Golf Ball's: "Not Bad" says the Millionare, "but we have to wait for the other 2 fellows to return before I can award the winner a check for 1 Million Dollars!" 3 weeks later..the second guy show's up with 1200 Golf Balls! By this time the Millionare was really impressed! "Young man..unless the last remaining fellow out does you..I do believe you will be the winner! So they waited..and waited..and waited!!! Finally after 3 months had gone by.an ambulance pulls up and the last fellow gets out! He's got 2 broken legs; a broken arm; cracked ribs; gashes all over him and lots of stitches! "What in the deuce happened to you asked the Millionare?" The last fellow manages to right himself in the Ambulance and stare at the piles of Golf Ball's left by the other hopefulls! "Oh ****" he says, and starts crying like a baby! "I thought you said King Kong's balls!"

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by 190MPH-C5 View Post
    A rich man asked 3 prospective inheritors of a Million Dollars to retrieve the most number of Ping Pong Balls for him! After a few weeks..the first guy comes back with 500 Ping Pong Ball's: "Not Bad" says the Millionare, "but we have to wait for the other 2 fellows to return before I can award the winner a check for 1 Million Dollars!" 3 weeks later..the second guy show's up with 1200 Ping Pong Balls! By this time the Millionare was really impressed! "Young man..unless the last remaining fellow out does you..I do believe you will be the winner! So they waited..and waited..and waited!!! Finally after 3 months had gone by.an ambulance pulls up and the last fellow gets out! He's got 2 broken legs; a broken arm; cracked ribs; gashes all over him and lots of stitches! "What in the deuce happened to you asked the Millionare?" The last fellow manages to right himself in the Ambulance and stare at the piles of Ping Pong Ball's left by the other hopefulls! "Oh ****" he says, and starts crying like a baby! "I thought you said King Kong's Balls!"
    Sorry Guys! It should have said "Ping Pong Balls" instead of "Golf Balls!" Might still work..but..? (Too many beer's last night)!

  5. #5
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    The Pope

    The Pope was getting into his limo one night when he turned to the limo driver and said, “Before I die, I would love to drive this beautiful limo just once.”

    “Well, here,” the limo driver says, “Take the wheel, Your Holiness!”

    Further down the road, the limo is stopped by a policeman who looks in the window, goes back to his squad car, calls dispatch and says, “I just pulled over someone real important and I don’t know what to do.”

    “Well, who is it?” his dispatcher says, “The mayor? The governor? The president?”

    “I don’t know,” the officer responds, “but the Pope’s his chauffer!”

  6. #6
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    Hospital Mixup

    A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.

    “Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.”
    “What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?” “Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”

  7. #7
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    A man and his wife go to the site of their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary. As the couple is reflecting on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”

    The husband replies, “All I wanted to do was **** your brains out and suck your **** dry.”

    “What are you thinking now?” the wife asks as she undresses.

    The husband quickly replies: “It looks like I did a pretty good job.”

  8. #8
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    Blonde Joke 1

    Three blondes were walking in the forest one day. They saw a set of tracks and started arguing over what kind of tracks they were.

    The first blonde said, "I think they’re deer tracks!"

    The second blonde said, "I think they’re dog tracks!"

    The third blonde said, "Well, I think they’re cow tracks!"

    They were still arguing when the train hit them.

  9. #9
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    Blone Joke 2

    Fatal Attraction!
    A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.

    The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do it."

    "Shut up," she says. "You’re next."

  10. #10
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    Blone Joke 3

    Blonde Bombshell

    Q: What should you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

    A: Run like hell—she’s got a grenade in her mouth.

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